Sorry
It's about time.
Filed under Super Dooper
Birthday Goodness
It's a very special man's very special birthday today.
Happy 30th Birthday Yehia! Mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah!
Above (left to right): Birthday Boy Yehia, Spinach.
Filed under Super Dooper
Raiheen 3a Beirut!
We're on our way to Beirut! Apart from the felafel and cedars and friends and family, I am quite looking forward to experiences involving individuals such as this gentleman:
Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, EEEEeeekk!!!, Heeheehee..., Stuff, Super Dooper, WOW, Waiting
We are, like, so married right now!
Filed under Super Dooper
We sooo know how to pick a honeymoon destination!
It's official - Beirut is a better holiday destination than Melbourne.
Obviously our selection of Beirut as honeymoon destination has raised its ranking. In four weeks we will be eating shish tawouk, hanging out with family and basking in the sun. Bliss...
Filed under Super Dooper
The Most Beautiful Shoes In The World
Filed under Exciting Acquisitions, Super Dooper, WOW
Come, come!
The invitations have arrived! Gold and Brown and Looooovely. OooooooOOOooooooohhhhh!!!
Now to decide who gets them...
Filed under Exciting Acquisitions, Let's Get Married!, Super Dooper
Theme Songs
The soundtrack to our wedding is a dilemma of extraordinary proportions. Difficult questions include:
Should I have a special theme song to walk in to?
Should Yehia have a special theme song too?
Should we have a dancey thing where everyone watches us dance to a theme song?
Should we have another dancey thing where everyone watches us dance with particular people to a particular theme song?
Do we have another special theme song for people to listen to when we're signing important documents?
What other opportunities are there for me to be able to subject guests to my favourite music?
Following these important questions and my general procrastinatory nature, I have decided to CHOOSE excellent songs, then CREATE moments for them. Some songs don't really lend themselves to the whole "Happy Happy Happy Day" theme, others don't lend themselves to the "Family Friendly Event" theme. Some I will play despite this.
Songs/artists that will certainly feature are as follows:
1. 99 Luft Ballons - Nena
2. Ya Rayah - Cheb Khaled, Rachid Taha, Faudel
3. Anyone Else But You - The Moldy Peaches
4. Justin Timberlake
5. Sharzy
6. Dolly Parton
7. Prince
8. David Bowie
Songs that have been deemed "unsuitable for such an occasion":
1. Sexy MF - Prince (what I wanted to walk in to, has been vetoed)
2. Tom Waits singing about alcoholism/broken hearts
3. Angry Teenager Music
What have we missed? We are now taking suggestions for any excellent songs that people might suggest for us to play at our wedding. We won't necessarily accept/decline/not laugh at suggestions given. Let us know, what are the bestest songs in the whole wide world?
Filed under Let's Get Married!, Super Dooper, Waiting
The Baby Alligators are Coming...
It's my sister's birthday today. Happy Birthday Katia!
She's in France. I'm in Australia. What's the time difference? Plus something? Minus something? Huh? Let's find out by calling her! Hooray! Birthday Goodness!
Filed under Super Dooper
Some More Interesting Things
- Perhaps I had Dengue Fever! I told you there were lots of mosquitoes!
- Yehia just made me sign my name lots of times. Whilst he told me that it was for a "joint account", I have suspicions that he may be about to sell my kidneys to pay for the wedding.
- The Terror that Purrs in the Night (aka Spinach the cat) did not forget me while I was in Papua New Guinea, and has switched alliances from being Yehia's sidekick back to being leader of my evil minion(s). Perhaps this has motivated the sale of my kidneys.
- I have been eating lots of delicious things.
- Melbourne is very cold. I realised this when my coconut oil solidified. Also when I couldn't stop shivering. Constantly.
- There is lots of stuff here.
- The stuff is somewhat overwhelming.
- The food is somewhat delicious.
- Hooray!*
*with bits of sad, because I miss Papua New Guinea.
Filed under Crapola, EEEEeeekk!!!, Heeheehee..., Let's Get Married!, So they said..., Super Dooper
Mangroving
It is a well-known fact that mangroves are very important for giving us fishies and crabs to eat. They provide a lovely safe place for the small fishies and crabs to grow up in, as well as convenient places in which to catch larger and more edible fishies and crabs. So that we can eat them.
With this in mind, I attended the Save PNG World Forestry Day mangroving expedition at Taurama beach, about 20 minutes out of Port Moresby.
It was a beautiful day, with plenty of volunteers to put the hundreds of mangrove seeds into biodegradable tapioca bags, and then put them in cages and rock walls and such so that they don't float away.
We ate watermelons, ran along the beach, saved the world and gasped at how there is no such thing as an ugly Papua New Guinean child. They're all so lovely, even when their pants are on inside-out.
We got back to Port Moresby exhausted and sunburned, and very soon an enormous storm broke with thunder and lightening and torrential rain, giving us a lovely fireworks show. The only thing we could do was jump in the pool.
Filed under Super Dooper, WOW
Bilum
Having made several references to bilums, and having had several "what's a bilum?" type questions, and having been to lazy to facilitate a picture of me modelling one of my hundreds of bilums, here's a photo of a baby in a baby bilum hanging in a mango tree, with some people selling buai sitting on the ground. Don't worry, it (the bilum, not the baby) is tied up there tightly and the baby is very happy. So are the people (happy, not tied up tightly).
Filed under Super Dooper
Valentines Day in Port Moresby: Girls Girls Girls!
"Is this the girls' night?"
"Yes, the gays' night."
"No, is it the girls' night?"
"Gays' night."
"Girls girls girls"
"Gays gays gays!"
"Hang on, do you mean girls or gays?"
"Gays."
"Man or Meri?"
"Man, Meri, me no save!!!"
The cast: One spunky Engan lawyer, one cute pillow-talker, one nervous man who works for a UN children's agency all observing: many 'girly-girls', working girls, working boys, crusty old men, pimps, secretary of the government department for agricultural stuff...
We were there to see Chukachukamomo in her first live stage performance. We never figured out who Chukachukamomo was because we were so distracted by the action happening around us: fashion shows, tricks, transactions, tantrums, scandal. It was all there.
The most romantic dancers won bottles of Passion Pop "champagne".
There was a girlygirl competition which began with casual wear: short skirts and tight tops. Evening wear followed: shorter skirts, tighter tops. Sporting wear: same as above, with sneakers. Our special favourite (coz we couldn't find Chukachukamomo) was Kymberley Johns, a middle-aged individual with middle-aged spread carefully (un)covered in garish shades of green.
All in the most delightful setting of the Chilli Pepper Club. The front of it is a cardboard cutout of a castle, complete with battlements. Inside there's fairy lights, tinsel, red walls and pole that fortunately/unfortunately wasn't used to its full potential last night.
Truly romantic.
Filed under EEEEeeekk!!!, Heeheehee..., Super Dooper, WOW
What I want to be when I Grow Up.
At first I didn't believe it when Camille told me there are pink dolphins in the world. I wouldn't believe it.
How would a dolphin get pink, anyway? They're kind of greyish-blue. Not pink. And dolphins don't get sunburned, do they?
How would a dolphin get to be pink? Do they also get to be green and purple and orange, and maybe stripey? Do the pink dolphins still say "So long", and thank us for all the fish?
I was sceptical.
But then she sent me this, from some Malaysian island where the dolphins are pink and happy and they play and laugh and frolic and are the happiest dolphins in the world because they're pink and anyway HOW DID THAT DOLPHIN GET PINK?????? ITS A PINK DOLPHIN HOW DID IT GET PINK?????
I WANNA BE A PINK DOLPHIN!!!!!!
Pink Dolphin photo courtesy of The Lovely Camille
Filed under Super Dooper, WOW
I'm a Lady with a Hairy Back
Some people won't want to know about this.*
I have a new friend on my back. Points to consider:
1. It was done hygenically: sterile equipment and new needles.
2. It is small and discreet and tasteful.
3. It hurt less than a bikini wax.
4. I have twisted and turned, and concluded that there are some spots on your body that you just can't see without a mirror.
I'm not showing you yet, for two weeks until it's healed.
*If you don't want to know about what the above is implying, please pretend that it's talking about a new hair that I have grown on my lower back, which I have had coloured, permed and styled. Thankyou, that is all.
Filed under EEEEeeekk!!!, Exciting Acquisitions, Super Dooper
More Interesting Things
1. In exactly ONE MONTH I will be 25. Just in case you can't count, that's Thursday March 1st. Please prepare all gifts, hugs, well-wishes, etc. for a timely celebration.
2. I am leaving in 7 weeks. EEEEEKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!
3. Someone quite lovely is getting their brain fixed. Good luck, lovely person. Don't worry, I'll be there in 7 weeks to sing you lullabies, aka David Bowie covers on my pink ukulele.
4. People shouldn't get that drunk at their brother's wedding, even if it is Yehia's fault.
5. If people do get that drunk, they probably shouldn't talk about their testicles, and the said testicles' relationship to squishy cheese. Nor should they demonstrate.
6. Ants are trying to eat me alive. Probably because I'm delicious.
7. I am moving offices, across the hall. For my last seven weeks of work. Efficient.
8. There's a kind of hush all over the university today.
9. There have been so many blackouts today, it's ridiculous. At least two every hour. Damn UPS, I have to stay at work!
10. We're moving towards finalising a wedding date. We have a wedding month, and will let you know when the date is when we know. Hooray!
Filed under Crapola, EEEEeeekk!!!, Exciting Acquisitions, Heeheehee..., Super Dooper, Waiting
The things that we love about PNG, and will miss lots and lots. You see, it's a great place and not bad at all, and I quite like it, like nobody's business!
First of all, there is the Deliciousness. One can buy a watermelon, and even say "I carried a watermelon", any day of the week. And a delicious watermelon it will be, especially if one taps it before purchase to make sure that it sounds hollow. The same goes for pineapples, and mangos, and pawpaws, and kaukaus, and bananas, and coffees, and limes, and sugarfruits, and kalamansies, and crayfishies and crabs (although none of these need to be tapped). Many other things, too.
The people are wonderful, especially Non-Stalkers. Even stalkers give one amusement in the moments when one isn't being stalked, and one can tell funny stories about the funny things that they say and do whilst stalking. Because really, they are quite funny. In hindsight.
Papua New Guinean animals are quite special. My particular favourite is the Hornbill, which hops around like a happy hopping hornbill. But there are others, including tree kangaroos and cuscus. There are also many interesting, and sometimes scary, bugs. One must be careful of some animals and bugs as they can bite, but that just brings the element of surprise to the experience.
Place-names are a source of constant amusement, particularly place-names such as "Maprik", "Wapenamanda" and "Wau". They are fun to say and fun to see. Good all-round family entertainment.
Second-hand shopping like no other is to be found in this most excellent county.
Culture, culture, culture. Culture. Culture culture.
The weather. Ah, the weather. In Port Moresby, one doesn't experience anything outside 22-35 degrees, all year round. It's heavenly.
The anecdotes one hears when being introduced to people. For example: "This is X. When he went to a restaurant for the first time in his life, he ate the flower garnish". Or "This is Z. He's adopted, because his father stabbed his mother to death." Or "My name is Y. My husband beats me so I sell peanuts".
Beaches, beaches, beaches. Amusing stories in the newspapers. People. Adventures. Etc.
Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Super Dooper, WOW
The wonderful adventures of Yehia and Carolyn, Volume II
New Year's Resolution: Never EVER drink tequila again. EVER. NEVER. EVER. Tequila = bad. Back to vodka again.
Apart from the tequila, we had a great night at the Gold Club (just as classy as its name implies), watching fireworks in the sky and the remains of fireworks fall down onto the open-air dancefloor and burn people. Driving home we saw Port Moresby Inc. fireworks, aka a flaming car near one of the frequent turn-offs from the nightclub.
Last night we treated friends to a Lebanese cook-up of moghrabieh, and stuffed ourselves silly. Everyone was in bed pretty early due to said stuffage. I was woken up in the middle of the night by about 6 gunshots REALLY close to our compound - Kristen came running into our bedroom just as Yehia woke up to another 6 fired in quick succession (we hear gunfire pretty regularly, but not so close to home). Yehia snuck out onto the balcony to see what was happening while Kristen and I (damsels in distress) hid in my bedroom but there was nothing to be seen. Kristen and I snuck out to check too, but it was just like nothing had ever happened. Another night in Port Moresby.
Happy new year everyone!
Filed under EEEEeeekk!!!, Super Dooper
The wonderful adventures of Yehia and Carolyn
Queensland was a lovely catchup where I refined my special method of sister-torture, and bought bikinis. We spent a night with The Good Doctor, and almost forgot a hockey stick at the LoveShack.
Dr. Charlie Love, at your service...
Other people have mentioned the Family Holiday, though, so I will save my fingies. Yehia and I landed back in Port Moresby a week ago today. We could tell that we were back when we heard gunshots in Boroko in the afternoon and were pulled over that night at a power-tripping police roadblock, where they 'used their discretion' and didn't fine us for not having the interior light on. In other words, they were looking for bribes to pay for Christmas.
It was all ok, though, because a couple of days later we flew all the way up to Kavieng to stay at Nusa, where we played with fishies and crabs and hornbills and parrots and dogs. The water was divine and the beaches were white and we swam around the islands and snorkelled with the starfish and lay around on hammocks. We also ate a lots of crabs and crayfish and fishies and omelettes and goodness.
Now we're back in Port Moresby again, and we are enjoying coffee and friends and fun. Yesterday we hosted 12 children for a seventh birthday party where Uncle Ya (aka Uncle Ugly Ugly Monster) taught small children how to throw balls at each others' heads, and Auntie Carolyn got fried in the sun like an egg. Just for jealousy's sake, here's a few photos of the kind of places that we were subject to up at Nusa:
Finger Update: It went away and was all happy and better, but then it got itchy and swollen again. Dr. Love told me not to worry about it so I didn't, and now it's all better and happy again. Something strange (not a child) did bite me in the pool yesterday, on my upper thigh, and that has made a really weird mark. More news on the strange bite mark later.
Filed under Super Dooper
We're all going on a summer holiday...
Finger update: I still haven't been to the doctor, because it's only hurtie and not super-hurtie or hurtie-ow. I took an antihistamine this morning and I don't think it did anything. I have poked it a lot and stuck it in several people's faces - this didn't do anything either. It is still swollen and red, and it is quite itchy now.
Tomorrow I am going to Australia for a holiday with representatives of my family. I shall be sitting on a beach, among other things. Then Yehia and I are coming back to Port Moresby for a couple of days before we go here for Christmas. We shall partake in more beach-sitting. Wonderful it will be.
So no more exciting pink ukulele adventures for a couple of weeks. Well, maybe intermittent ones, between sitting upon various beaches. Yalla byebyez!
Filed under Super Dooper
You can ring my bell!
I got my mobile number back (reclaimed it from the phone company, but I don't have my phone, have to use an old and crappy one) AND I got my hussymobile back, so Things are A Bit Better. People can now contact me in case the world blows up and they want to tell me, or in case I have won a million dollars, or in case they want me to play David Bowie covers on my pink ukulele at their birthday party. There are some people who can't call me, though, and they are:
- Evil Ex-Landlord
- Stinky person who stole my phone
- Stupid guy in town at 11:30pm on Friday night who stood in the middle of the road that I was driving on and said, "Ooooh... White Meri... All alone..."
Anyway, we had a party on Saturday night for Christmas. We took the catering Very Seriously, with red & green sushi, vodka watermelon, bacardi jelly shots, slushies and cocktails with copious amounts of food colouring in them. There may have been Shenanigans, and possibly even High Jinks and Tomfoolery. My mouth was red, then green, then red again. I think it went brown in the middle there. Pretty colours. My hands were many colours. The bench was many colours. So was the coffee table.
Preparations involved glitter:
And the hats were well worth all the effort:
There were some really beautiful people there, supermodels I think:
And one that bore a strange resemblance to a reindeer:
The bartenders were of the most talented and refined sort (this was taken before I 'apparently' spilt green food dye all over them):
The next day, the guards put the discarded decorations to good use:
Unfortunately, Kristen's phone was stolen at the party. To the slimy creep who took it: You are a slimy creep. Bring it back, you slimy creep! NOW!!! Or we'll do something really bad to you. So there. You slimy creep!!!
Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Super Dooper
Weird dreams that I have had lately...
I have been having some very strange dreams lately. All very vivid and very real. I don't want to know what they mean, or what they say about me and/or others, unless it's a very funny explanation that won't make me paranoid.
1. Kristen stoled all of the diamonds out of my engagement ring and said, "I'll give them back!"
2. I broke my left wrist very badly. And it took ages to get to the doctor, because of all of the rigmarole regarding international insurance.
3. Mangoes. Everywhere. Just going through a regular day, but mangoes being everywhere. More so than usual. Like, everywhere, like dangling in people's hair.
4. Baking lots of goodness and then going and having a wonderful picnic. A themed picnic... can't remember what theme. Lots of colour involved, though. There were Hornbills. They may have also partaken in the picnic. I like hornbills. And I think the picnic was floating. There were also couches.
5. There was a giant, and I mean GIANT, jellyfish floating/swimming/blobbing around the bay, and I was watching it from our balcony. Giant, like an elephant or whale. But not an elephant or whale, because it was a jellyfish - I could even see its giant tentacle-thingies.
6. David Bowie. I think he came to our wedding. Woohoo!
7. I ate and ate and ate and ate, and enjoyed it. And there were no moany/painy/bloaty repurcussions.
8. Dancing. Many styles of.
9. Jeans.
10. Lots of pretty butterflies. All shapes and sizes and colours. Lovely.
Go on then, try to analyse that bunch! And they say us volunteers don't need psych assessments...
Filed under EEEEeeekk!!!, Heeheehee..., Super Dooper
Monster II: Hero's Revenge
The scourge of Port Moresby is no more.
Last night The Hero (aka Nigel) was sleeping quietly, dreaming of mashed potato and planes. Little did The Hero know that there was a vicious monster with an eye for revenge, making its way across his bedroom ceiling...
The Hero was sleeping on his side. We know this because at 1am the monster made its move. Launching itself from the ceiling on a trajectory carefully calculated to both miss the fan and use its wind power at the same time, the monster flew through the air, landing on The Hero's ear with pinpoint accuracy.
The Hero was overcome! Alas! Slowly the monster started burrowing into his ear, intent on sucking out his brain so that he could never mash potatoes, let alone fly, again. The Hero, gasping, woke up only to realise at that moment how close he was to his doom.
Then, in a show of extraordinary strength of both mind and body, The Hero shook his head and the monster fell onto the pillow. Barely alive from the attack and mortally wounded The Hero used his last ounce of strength to lift the pillow, with the monster on it, and smash it pillow and all... against the wall.
Damsel In Distress #2 (aka Kristen), while being impressed that the monster was slain and The Hero had truly earned her heart, was not happy that The Hero's pillow was now covered in monster guts and that they would have to share hers. Nonetheless, The Hero is applauded by all of Port Moresby and we all live happily ever after.
Filed under Super Dooper
Where I live now
Ok so I moved houses several weeks ago and now I've finally bothered to take some photos of bits to put here. Actually, the photos aren't the bits of my new house, they're the view from the balcony of my new house. Which is big, with a hammock in which one drinks gin and tonic (for malaria, of course!).
So here is one bit of our view:
And here is another bit of our view:
And here is the first bit of our view at night when all the pretty lights are sparkling. Sorry about the not-so-good photo, but my camera is smarter than me and I'm still figuring out all the buttons 'n stuff.
So who's jealous? Port Moresby isn't such a bad place after all, is it?
I'm living with Nigel and Kristen. Nigel is a pilot who forgets to drain the water from the potatoes before he mashes them. Kristen is a 'communications professional' (don't ask me what that is!) who quite likes to eat pickles. They are getting married in March. As soon as I get them both drunk enough to wear hot pants, feather boas and leather bras I will put the photos up here.
By the way, Cairns was good.
Filed under Super Dooper
Stuff
Well there is some stuff of note that I will now note:
- The rainy season started this week. It poured and poured, and then the sun came out, and then it poured and poured, and then the sun came out, etc. It's most interesting and somewhat humid. Green bits are poking out of the dustbowl that was Port Moresby. Lovely.
- I am going to Cairns tomorrow with the tickets that I won. In Cairns I will play with Yehia and I will eat goodness that I can't get in Port Moresby.
- Tonight Hao is cooking me crayfish. Normally he cooks giant mudcrabs, which he purchases from the market for about 7 kina each (around AU$3.20). But mudcrab season is finishing and crayfish season is starting. And at the stupormarket the crayfishies are 25 kina per kilo (about AU$11.50) so we're going to eat some of them, coz we're working today and won't be able to get to the market on time. At the market they're about 7 kina each now. Mmmm, goodness. Suffice to say that that's not one of the things I'll be going off to eat in Cairns. Photos pending.
- I was a little bit sick this week. Not dramatically, just a bit too tired and bleh. But I'm better now. In time to go to Cairns.
- We are still working through the 2 litres of mango pulp.
Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Super Dooper, WOW
This is why we come to Port Moresby
"It's a sin to live in this city during mango season and not eat them until you're sick." - Kym
Taking this to heart, I bought 30+ mangoes at the market on Saturday.
How could I not??? The really ripe ones were 20 toea each (about AU 9 cents each) and the less ripe ones were 50 toea each (about AU 22 cents each). And the smell, people, the smell! I did also buy three giant cucumbers and a big bunch of lemongrass. Do you see any lemongrass?
On Sunday, I realised that I didn't quite know what to do with them all. I pulverised half of them in my little mini food processesor, and ended up with 2 litres of delicious golden mango pulp. Plus a few litres on me, and all over the kitchen. Thank goodness for haus meris.
But I'm out of vodka and I have two litres of delicious golden mango pulp. What to do? What's the point of 2 litres of delicious golden mango pulp when there's no vodka? Sure I can mix it with icecream, but it would be so much better with icecream and vodka.
So Kristen ate/drank/consumed a bit of it when she got home. I physically couldn't have any more after chopping up and sampling so many bits of mango, and being covered from head to toe with mangoey goodness. I was truly delicious. Not that I would know, because that would be wrong. And far too difficult.
2 litres of delicious golden mango pulp minus a few spoonfulls = ...still lots of delicious golden mango pulp.
And then we made mango chicken.
Still no difference.
And then we made yummy drinks with it.
Tiny dent achieved.
Anyone for delicious golden mango pulp? I still have 15 mangoes left!!!
Mmmmm, mango....
Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Super Dooper
The Phoenix Rises from the Ashes; I wanna go please please oh please!!!
Ok so my jeans didn't go flying after all. They turned up in Kristen's wardrobe. Drama averted. It turns out they got mixed up and hung up and we didn't notice yesterday morning while I was running around the house, wailing about my irretreivable loss. I did have an interesting conversation via email with Kym about it yesterday, though:
Kym: I VERY VERY VERY much identify as my BEST JEANS IN THE WORLD were stolen in Enga in 2002 and I spent the next 3 months scouring EVERY SINGLE jean-wearing mutant for my long-lost one-of-a-kind fit-me-perfect JEANS and I KNOW if I'd seen them, I would have MURDERED the person wearing them. Alas alack they never came back to me. Only a woman can know what the 'perfect jeans' means. Many condolences. Even IF you were Right!
Carolyn: I am very sad about my jeans. The ones I am wearing at the moment are just not good enough. Alas. Alack-a-day. SH it is. Though I do think that they were not the perfect jeans, and that maybe it was fate taking them away so that I would find the perfect pair. They were my favourites of the jeans that I had, although they were not perfect. So they were bound to be knocked out of place at some point by the perfect pair. This rationale does not dull the pain of the loss, though.
Point being that I'm still going secondhand shopping soon so that I can buy the perfect pair of jeans. I know I'll find them.
In other news, I am now going to rant about 'no-go-zones'. These 'no-go zones' are places that the funding body deems to be unsafe for lovely little ladies with pink ukuleles, despite what they might or might not be doing there. So, I'm Not Allowed to go secondhand shopping there. It also means that I'm Not Allowed to work there, too.
There is an amazing organisation here called 'The Friends Foundation', which is a friends of people living with HIV/AIDS kind of thing. They do lots of great stuff like give people household goods, food, care and friendship. They also help out the local hospital, where the morgue is filled to the brim with the unclaimed bodies of people whose families are too ashamed, because of HIV, to pick them up. The Friends Foundation raise heaps and heaps of money, and give these people a proper burial. The other day they buried 29 little babies. And I have a whole house full of Stuff to give them, from my last house. And I have work to do with them. And their office is in Gerehu. And I'm Not Allowed to visit them.
I'm also Not Allowed to go and visit Blacky in Morata. Blacky needs money so that he can open up a youth centre, and I can help him. Even though the whole community is scared of him because he used to be a rather nasty rape/pillage/murder type criminal (now reformed, some kind of god-action happened there I think), I am Still Not Allowed to go there. His youth centre would help other nasty rape/pillage/murder type criminals to do stuff with their lives other than rape/pillage/murder. Anyway, nobody would touch a HAIR of a lovely little lady with a pink ukulele if she was with Blacky, but I'm still Not Allowed to go there. No Ifs and no Buts and no Questions - no Gerehu, and no Morata.
It just goes to show that some of the funding bodies that think they look all snazzdabulous and spunky and all the rest really don't have a clue about what they're doing in Papua New Guinea with their one-size-fits-all restrictions and rules and stuff. Normally I wouldn't pay much attention to restrictions, especially such as these, but I'm being GPS-tracked all the time so they'll know, and when they find me out they'll ship me out of the country quick-smart - Not Good. Not that after my measly six months I'm an expert, but I do understand that if I'm with The Friends Foundation, or if I'm with Blacky, I will be ok. That's how PNG works - if you know the right people and go with the right people and do with the right people, it's ok. It makes me Super-Crankyorama because stupid funding body are stuffing up my work and actually being stupid crapheads with no brains, just crap in their heads, about it all. I Wanna Go To Gerehu and I Wanna Go To Morata. Cranky. Me. Grrrr!
- End Rant -
Filed under Crapola, Super Dooper
What I was doing
Well I did lots of training during the last two weeks. Now I'm back. Notable incidents from the past two weeks include (in no particular order):
- Eating lots and lots of kaukau and cooking bananas.
- Seeing how many times I can say "breast" on national radio.
- Sending 5000 male + 3000 female condoms up the Kokoda trail.
- Saying yalla byebyez to lovely Hagen and Alotau mobs.
- Having a guy called Blacky in my training.
- Dealing with inner PC dilemmas whenever I call out, "Hey, Blacky!"
- An earthquake in PNG that I didn't even feel!
- Others felt it! In POM! Unfair!!!
- Kristen coming back with presents.
- Explaining to wifebeaters that women have human rights too.
- Telling brick wall (aka wifebeaters) to STOP BLOODY BEATING!!!
- Convincing wifebeaters not to beat their wives when pregnant.
- SH.
- Fun and Games.
- Etc.
Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Heeheehee..., Super Dooper
Forgot This Too
Ok I forgot to mention this too.
I'm halfway through PNG today.
Well, kind of. Not literally, in a way. But really, I am. Halfway as in halfway through my 12-month assignment. As in 6 months today. Halfway. Through. My. Stay. In. PNG.
EEEEEEEEEEeeeeEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!
So many more things to do! So many more animals to poke! So many more people to play with! So many more crazy things to eat! So many more things to be scared of! So many more t-shirts to see!
Did I mention eek?
EeeeeeEEEEEeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Crapola, EEEEeeekk!!!, Exciting Acquisitions, Heeheehee..., Miscellany, So they said..., Super Dooper, T-Shirt Of The Day, WOW, Waiting
MIA again!
I forgot to mention that I have two, yes Two, weeks of training. Starting today. Continuing for the next two weeks. Of training. That I am conducting. Two weeks of training.
Please wait while I conduct the said two weeks of training, I promise to be back. In the meantime please enjoy the following picture: "Girl in cowboy boots with beer".
Filed under Super Dooper
Hippo Birdie 2 Ewe
HAAAAAPPY BERRSDAAAAY YEEEHIAAAA!!!!!!
(365 sleeps until you're 30...)
MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH MWAH!!!!!!!
Love and hugs and kisses for you! Mwah!
It's Yehia's birthday today. Wish him a Happy Birthday!
Filed under Super Dooper
Ooooohhhh....
Last weekend I went on an adventure to Goroka where I saw many exciting things, including the Goroka show. One of the most exciting things was Alex doing his singsing - check out the grin on his face! Isn't he fantastic!!!!
Ok well last night I went out with the boys and stayed out too late for a school night so I can't be arsed doing a commentary on every single photo. Suffice to say that I was highly amused by fantastic outfits, the number of dead animals people could fit on their heads, by VERY cute little pikininis, by men thrusting their penis gourds at me, and by insano Western Highlanders marching around the showground with axes. And there is a caption for the last one. Enjoy.
Lady on left: "Hey man, you're wearing my tree kangaroo tail!" Lady on right: "What tree kangaroo tail?"
Filed under Super Dooper
Excitement
Some of the good things about me going to Goroka:
- Seeing lots of fun people doing singsings
- I get out of Port Moresby, only for the third time!
- I get to wear my cowboy boots!!!
- Yummy fruit and vegies
- Hanging out at some guy's coffee plantation
- I get to wear my cowboy boots!
- Hanging out with Kate and Alex
- Seeing Alex do his singsing!
- Being in the middle of some giant mountains
- I get to wear my cowboy boots!
- Eating crazy things
- The possibility of poking some interesting animals
- Squealing when poked animals bite me
- I get to wear my cowboy boots!
- Singing songs about hills and their vitality
- Being scared by Huli Wigmen
- Being scared by lots of painted and dressed up people
- Hiding behind Kym when scared
- I get to wear my cowboy boots!
- Taking lots of fantastic photos
- Taking fantastic photos of me in my cowboy boots
- Being a cowboy/girl, whichever takes my fancy
- I get to wear my cowboy boots!
- Highland goodness
- Pretending that my cowboy boots go with everything
- Etc.
Filed under Super Dooper
Goroka here I come!
Tomorrow I am going to Goroka, up in the highlands, to see the Goroka show. There are going to be lots of people dressed up in special outfits, doing singsings and generally being loud and colourful and dancey. I am very excited. I'm going with Kym, and we are going to also visit a coffee plantation and do other 'stuff' that you do in the highlands. Like... um... stuff. And things. That sort of action. Hmmm...
I'll have lots of photos, though, and I'll put them up here as soon as I get back. Hooray!
Filed under Super Dooper
The things you find in Port Moresby...
I haven't posted any photos for awhile, so here are a few gems. First off are the boots I bought whilst secondhand shopping with Kym a few weeks ago. The ones on the left are the 50 toea lovelies that have since been polished and look even better; on the right are my 18 kina cowboy boots. Hooray!
On another secondhand shopping trip Kristen found this brand of clothing:
On another shopping expedition this hat was discovered. Photo #1 shows the lever down, with the sunglasses down... photo #2 shows the lever up and the magical sunglasses being removed from Kristen's eyes - WOW!!!
Last but certainly not least is a limousine, Port Moresby style. Need I say more?
Filed under Super Dooper
In, out, in, out, in, out, in...
I'm back at the university, again. For the moment at least. Let's see how long it lasts this time...
Filed under Super Dooper
Icecream, dust and documentaries
I'm back at the university again, complete with plain-clothes security guard patrolling my buildling (when he's not eating icecream).
It's lovely to be back amongst all of the students, who were wondering if I had gone back to Oz, and all of the associated drama. My office was a dustbowl when I opened the door (as all of Port Moresby is at the moment) so the first couple of hours were spent dusting that and trying to make it somewhat habitable.
The documentary last night on the ABC 'Sick No Good' was great, despite a few important omissions (corruption, bride price, etc). ANYONE in Australia who missed it is expected to tune in to Four Corners tonight at 11pm for a replay. There may be a pop quiz to test your comprehension.
Filed under Super Dooper
Lovely Loloata
One of our wonderful adventures last week was to the island of Loloata, where we had a snorkel and some food and a walk and peered at a very sad-looking tree kangaroo. We didn't poke it.
Yehia looks highly amusing in a snorkelling mask:
The tree kangaroo was truly sad:
The birdie-num-nums were cute:
The water was sublime:
And Yehia and Carolyn were happy!
(spot the snorkel mask lines)
Filed under Super Dooper
Cairns here I come!
Wahoo! The Cairns tickets are all mine!
Hooray for Kym!!!!!!!
Filed under Super Dooper
MIA III
Yehia is arriving tomorrow (little jumps of excitement and joy) and he'll be here for eight days, so that probably means no blogging and no email for another week.
We have so many exciting things planned - a big Lebanese cook-up, a trip to a village, meeting lots of people, maybe some snorkelling! WOW!!!! I'm so excited.
Stay tuned for more updates in a week!
EEEEE HEEHEEHEE HEEEEE heeheehee hee hee hee heeh ee hee he! (I'm very excited)
Filed under Super Dooper
Floating
Yesterday the lovely Lee invited us out on his friend's yacht for a sail in the evening - how fantastic! Very excited, and ready for wetness because it was really windy and choppy, we all piled into a lovely yacht. It was a beautiful sunset last night and we were excited about being out on the bay to see it, though it was quite cold with the wind (well, cold for Port Moresby, maybe 26 degrees).
The menfolks ran around with ropes while us womenfolks (liberation be damned, I'm not playing with ropes!) sat watching, with some commentary. When the menfolks were finally organised it was time to start the engine/motor/whatever it is to get out of the berth and into the harbour.
The menfolk got ready, and held onto the ropes so it wouldn't take off too quickly, and started the engine... and nothing happened. Lots of noise, but apparently 'it wasn't going into gear'.
Beer was promptly opened while the menfolk pretended to try to fix it. Lots of fiddling happened, and testing, and playing. It still 'wouldn't go into gear'. Us womenfolk continued with the commentary.
Then somebody, for some unknown reason, questioned the existence of a propellor on the boat... Lee poor luv was designated as the one to dive under the boat and check. Of course there was no propellor. Why would(n't) there be? Nobody knows where it is!
So we sat there on the yacht, still in the berth, and drank beer. At least we were on the water - floating rather than boating, but on the water nonetheless!
Filed under Super Dooper
HOORAY FOR YEHIA!!!
Yehia will be here in 3 more sleeps... HOORAY!!!!
Fun and Games for ALL!!!!!
Filed under Super Dooper
Riding around, PNG style!
Unlike in some other places in the world, it's purely legal to ride around in the back of a ute here in PNG. Today Kristen and I saw some gentlemen doing this in luxury, PNG style:
These guys have actually taken the seats out of a vehicle and put them in the back of a ute. Very innovative. I do feel sorry for the guy in the middle, though - he must feel ripped off!
Filed under Super Dooper
MIA II
Me and my Pink Ukulele are taking the juggling balls and heading off for another week of training...
So, there will be no more internet access for ANOTHER week. Please be patient, entries and emails will be back soon!
Filed under Super Dooper
Cute Crazy Haired Child
Another sight whilst sitting at a cafe eating lunch was this little blonde girl. She sits at this street corner every day with her mother who sells buai. I think she's my favourite kid in Port Moresby, with this incredibly striking natural blonde hair. Unfortunately up on the balcony I couldn't get a very good close-up shot. The other girl in the photo, with the normal hair, is obviously wondering how she can get her hair looking so cool.
Filed under Super Dooper
Back Again!
Ooooh.... I had a busy week last week... I worked Monday (public holiday, so unfair! It's the principle!) through to Saturday, training students and church people in how to talk about sex. Then Saturday night and Sunday were celebrations for Kristen and Hu's birthdays! HAPPY BIRTHDAYS!!!!
Training was interesting. The range of pidgin names for reproductive organs is quite impressive - I have to say that my favourite of the week was 'Big Boi'. There were a few shocks, including that a man can ask for monetary compensation from her family if he contracted HIV from a woman he raped, and that lubricant makes good hair gel (?).
Now I'm back at the university. Checking my email, which I haven't seen for a week. EEEEeeekkkk!!!!
Filed under Super Dooper
Visitor!!!
I am very excited to say that Yehia is visiting me here in Port Moresby in July. HOORAY FOR YEHIA!!! Most people don't want to visit Papua New Guinea (I wonder why?) so it's great to know that someone is willing, especially someone so lovely!
I am thinking about all sorts of things that we can do together. By chance he will be here the weekend that the Ela Beach Craft Market is on - that's the market where I bought my beautiful jewellery (yes, photos still pending!). He will love that, there are so many amazing artisans with very special wares. I think we also need to go and stay on an island somewhere, and maybe do some snorkelling somewhere, and play with some tree kangaroos somewhere.
One other exciting thing about him coming here is his luggage space. Whilst I can get most of the things I want at the supermarket, paying 22 kina (AU$11) for a jar of tahini is a bit exorbitant. And 191 kina per kilo (AU$95) for pinenuts shouldn't be mentioned. Then there is chocolate, red wine, olives and cheese. Lucky it's so hot here and he doesn't need to pack lots of clothes! HOORAY FOR YEHIA!!!!!