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Bringing Camel Back
1:39 PM, Monday, 19 November, 2007
A man spitroasted a whole camel and I wasn't invited. Not only is this rude and disrespectful, but it means that now he won't be invited when I spitroast the world's largest quail. An eye for an eye isn't something that I say, but a camel for a quail is. And it's something I stand by.
In a random segue, I also stand by not killing bugs unless they are earwigs. I will defend a spider to the squish and transport it out of the building into a nice garden and I will move snails from the footpath onto the grass after the rain, but an earwig I will pulverise in one foul swoop. They scare me a lot - partly because they scuttle, partly because of those freaky pincers they have attached to their arses. I think that reading George's Marvellous Medicine too many times as a child made me scared that one would bite me on the tongue and never let go. Read the book and you'll understand.
Other things that I did too many times as a child are:
- Force my mother to cut my toast into 16 pieces;
- Not catch the ball and get hit on the nose;
- Not blow my nose, as obviously my brains would come out with the snot and then I would have no brains and catching the ball would be even harder;
- Bake chocolate chip cookies;
- Lick my sister;
- Rub mulberry juice all over my sister's black and white cat, making it black and purple;
- Hold my breath until I passed out;
- Sing "Man of Colours";
- Etc.
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Comments
Oh, yes, but the toast was kind of cute cut into sixteen pieces, wasn't it...?
Posted by: Susanna | November 20, 2007 7:35 AM
I have eaten an earwig as a kid! Well I should say it found its own way into my mouth! not very interesting!
Posted by: Nisrine | November 21, 2007 10:53 AM
One of the things I did too many times as a child was gently pushing cotton buds into my ears. I liked it so much not because I wanted my ears to be clean but because of the nice ticklish sensation. Hehehehehehe. I know I am weired in many ways...hehehehehe
Posted by: popol | November 25, 2007 11:54 PM
Arse pincers are the worst. Not as bad as horny old arse pinchers at weddings and celebrations but still worst in their own field.
Posted by: Sam, Problemchildbride | November 30, 2007 6:00 AM
Susanna - it tasted better too!
Nisrine - you're just lucky it didn't grab hold of your tongue with it's arse and never let go.
Popol - those cotton buds feel good. Gotta be careful though, you can really do damage.
Sam - That's true, and it's important to separate the two fields for the sake of clarity. Thank you for your help.
Posted by: Carolyn | November 30, 2007 8:49 AM