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New People arrive in Port Moresby, and Carolyn doesn't make a good impression...
3:11 PM, Thursday, 8 March, 2007
New People often come to Port Moresby to do work, and stuff. Sometimes I am introduced to them. Sometimes I shouldn't be. Sunday night, I shouldn't have been:
"So Carolyn, how do you like Port Moresby?"
"I like it. The cucumbers are great."
"Ok... So, what are some of the challenges living here?"
"Well, the men stink. They'd hit on a pole if it had boobs."
"Right... Surely that's a gross generalisation regarding PNG men?"
"Oh, I'm not talking about PNG men. Just most men in Port Moresby. Except my friends, who are lovely. Not them, the other men."
"Hmm. So what do you do on the weekends? Do you go to the Yacht Club? I heard it's fun there!"
"The Yacht Club is full of expat twats, I'd never be caught dead there."
"You do realise you're an expat, don't you?"
"Yeah, but I'm not a twat." (looks suspiciously at New Person) "Twats like going to the Yacht Club and playing with their boats."
"Oh. I like boats."
"Well, I don't. So don't go there."
(shifts chair away a bit) "So what do you do on the weekends then?"
"Secondhandclothesshopping is great! I eat cucumbers a lot. Sometimes I lie on the couch and get bitten by mosquitoes. Sometimes I lie by the pool and get bitten by mosquitoes. Sometimes I sit on the balcony and get bitten by mosquitoes. Often I will involve alcohol in these pursuits. And cucumbers."
(looks desparately at person who introduced us) "Ok..."
"I eat at least one cucumber a day."
"I think I need to go home now... Nice to meet you..."
"Bye! Don't forget to eat some cucumbers!"
Filed under So they said...
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On Saturday night I went out for dinner. Unfortunately I was late and had to sit near some people I don’t know so well, while my friends were up at the other end of the table. Despite not particularly liking... [Read More]
Tracked on March 12, 2007 11:35 AM
Comments
The newcomer was certainly some sort of imbecile!
What I object to when mosquitoes bite me while I'm drinking is that they're getting loaded for free! Who paid for the drinks? Me, that's who! But you'll never see a mosquito stand his round. Flippin' freeloaders.
Posted by: Problemchildbride | March 8, 2007 4:22 PM
Now, really, that poor person, caught completely unaware of your talents in acerbic wit and ability to put someone in their place. I am quaking at the thought of you coming home and doing that to me...
Posted by: Susanna | March 9, 2007 6:51 AM
Love it!
Posted by: kk | March 9, 2007 2:00 PM
This conversation does not surprise me in the least.
You and your cucumbers...
Posted by: Katia | March 11, 2007 8:46 AM
PCB - Indeed, darned freeloading mosquitoes. The kind of creatures that leave just before it's their round, suddenly starting to yawn when the beer jug gets towards empty. I do think this was quite a nice person, though, and I was being a bit nasty.
kk - I did have fun though, despite the fact that I was being nasty!
Mum - Don't piss me off and I'll be nice to you. Oops, sorry, being nasty again. Of course I could NEVER speak to you like that!
Katia - YOU and YOUR cucumbers!
Posted by: Carolyn | March 12, 2007 11:55 AM