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Wedding Dress Idea #7776: Warrior Princess
9:20 PM, Thursday, 7 June, 2007
I'm getting married this year, and I'm going to make my dress...
Leaping off her winged steed, the Warrior Princess Bride flicks her hair scornfully in the direction of all those people who say "You're doing it all your way", and marches boldly to her groom's side.
As she takes her roast turkey leg from the minions and begins to chomp, the full glory of the Warrior Princess Bride's outfit can be seen. Her lovely bosom is encased in the finest leather corset, accentuated by a filigree brass breastplate. Her pert buttocks are barely covered by her wee little skirt, complete with brass studs, pins and doodads. Long brown lace-up boots have the requisite bridal stiletto (you just can't find bridal shoes without a stiletto heel these days, you know!). Her arms and hands are protected by matching brass filigree gauntlets, designed to both protect and accentuate her perfect manicure. A sword and dagger on her belt and a crossbow across her back complete this Warrior Princess Bride's outfit.
She's angry, bloodthirsty and merciless. Come too close and you'll hear her low, rumbling growl. The Warrior Princess Bride will tolerate no dissent in her legions, and will quash rebellion with one steely look. Likewise, champagne will suffer the terrifying scrutiny of her almighty palate. Gods will be vanquished, villages burned and hair flicked. She arm-wrestles monsters, punches through solid rock, kicks down doors and knocks out opponents with a single flick of her hair - all accompanied by witty and cutting quips. Beware those who spurn her selection of canapes.
"You know her? Of course, you know her. You're a "Who's Who" of Warriors." - Gabrielle
Filed under Let's Get Married!
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Comments
Oh my! I think I'm too afraid to come to this wedding....
Oh wait - my invitation seems to have gone missing in the post anyway!
Posted by: antipodeesse | June 8, 2007 1:17 AM
Have my sister's invitation. I'm sure she won't mind. She doesn't even want to come to Australia, anyway. Isn't that right, Katia?
Posted by: Carolyn | June 8, 2007 3:55 PM
Having known your delightful pets Xena and Hercules I am assuming there will be no canapes involving crab in any form.
Posted by: Sabine | June 9, 2007 12:34 PM
Will you be having a warrior flower-girl? On a winged pony? With a posy of steel magnolias?
Posted by: Sam, Problemchildbride | June 13, 2007 10:01 PM
Sabine - no hermit crabs will be harmed in the making of this wedding.
Sam - Heehee! I hadn't thought of steel magnolias. How terribly appropriate.
Posted by: Carolyn | June 18, 2007 11:59 AM