« The Cat has Issues Volume II, and the Funkiest Monkey that ever Popped | Main | The Eternal Dilemma »
Wedding Dress Idea #3359: Roller Skating Disco Queen
11:30 AM, Friday, 13 April, 2007
I'm getting married this year, and I'm going to make my dress...
As she glides into the reception, the glitz of the Roller Skating Disco Queen Bride is only matched by her extraordinary theme-tune and the spotlight that is on her at all times. Gold lurex hotpants shimmer as she boogies through the venue; her gold and purple sequin bolero catches the flashing lights like a thousand sequined glowworms; her purple glitter tank top barely keeps her modest. The Roller Skating Disco Queen Bride's starry starry eyes, uplifted to gaze knowingly at the disco ball, are accentuated by pure gold false eyelashes and glitter adorns her sparkilicious skin. Of course this Roller Skating Disco Queen Bride has a spectacular tiara adorned with the most delightful of sequin embellishments, showing that she really is the Queen of Roller Skating Disco, as well as a bride.
Glittery gold rollerskates are, of course, the feature of this outfit. How the bootmakers managed to add wheels to the bottom of 5-inch platform over-the-knee lace-up boots is anyone's guess, but this is the only bride that could ever pull it off. Or put them on. Whatever. All that matters is that in these glitterful rollerskate boots, this Roller Skating Disco Queen Bride can move like no other.
And move this Roller Skating Disco Queen Bride does. The inevitable dance-off with the evil jealous guest who wants to steal her spunky man and take over the world is filled with flair, flips, flourishes and flouncing. The followers of the Roller Skating Disco Queen Bride will back-up dance as they have never back-up danced before, in the most beautifully choreographed spirit-finger demonstration ever seen. Of course the evil jealous guest who wants to steal her spunky man and take over the world skates wailing and crying from the venue in utter annihilated defeat, as the Roller Skating Disco Queen Bride grooves into the arms of her beloved. All is well in the land of the Roller Skating Disco Queen and her King.
"A place, where nobody dared to go... the love that we came to know, they call it Xanadu!"
Filed under Let's Get Married!
TrackBack
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.pinkukulele.com/mt/mt-tb.cgi/189
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference Wedding Dress Idea #3359: Roller Skating Disco Queen:
» Just because you're paranoid don't mean they're not after you... from Pink Ukulele
Apparently lots of people from a certain government aid agency and from a certain government foreign affairs agency have been looking at the adventures of this pink ukulele player A LOT over the last couple of weeks. As I sit... [Read More]
Tracked on April 20, 2007 12:34 PM
» Wedding from Wedding
A same-sex wedding is a ceremony in which two people of [Read More]
Tracked on May 12, 2007 12:16 PM
Comments
Make your own dress? Not falling prey to the glamour that is advertised? OK, maybe there is not the availability over there that there is here.
But will the entire wedding party, and all the guests, be on skates too?
Posted by: joeinvegas | April 13, 2007 2:17 PM
Excellent! I always read your wedding dress idea posts with a huge grin on my face and snarfles aplenty.
Show that evil jealous guest the soles of your disco boots as you out-roll her into the disco floor! Yeah, baby!
Spandex rules!
Posted by: problemchildbride | April 15, 2007 11:21 AM
I love spandex.
Joe, there's plenty available but it's really hard to find EXACTLY what you want in a wedding dress without paying exorbitant prices, particularly when I refuse to wear white or any of its variations. There aren't that many orange wedding dresses around these days.
Posted by: Carolyn | April 18, 2007 3:45 PM
Then it is only normal that you make it yourself. So we are to expect orange?
I also want to know if the guests and entourage are expected to be on skates too. If so, we need to start practicing. During the showdown, is the lovely (yet somewhat clumsy) sister allowed to throw a mis-aimed punch or two?
Posted by: Katia | April 18, 2007 6:14 PM
All attendees will be required to be on skates. "Special" skates will be required for those uncoordinated guests, basically in the form of a chair seat nailed to a skateboard, with handlebars.
Applications are welcome from any members of the public interested in becoming back-up dancers for the inevitable dance-off. Please submit your CV, along with cover letter and statement of NO LESS THAN 5000 words outlining what you can offer a Roller Skating Disco Queen Bride as a back-up dancer, using examples. Successful applicants will be offered the opportunity to audition live for the bride in the final phase of the selection process. Due to the high level of interest, only those shortlisted for the auditions will be contacted.
Posted by: Carolyn | April 19, 2007 2:13 PM
Actually I think I have a disco techno song about Xanadu, but I have heaps of Disco tunes anyway so I could DJ at your wedding!
Posted by: Manu | April 24, 2007 8:10 AM
Hey Manu! Come DJ for us, I think you're the only person who'll be willing to play Sharzy for me!
I LOVE SHARZY!!!!
Posted by: Carolyn | April 24, 2007 11:02 PM