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Wedding Dress Idea #2278: Flight of the Valkyries
8:32 AM, Friday, 16 February, 2007
I'm getting married this year, and I'm going to make my dress...
Flight of the Valkyries
The Flight of the Valkyries wedding dress takes the best of the Norse mythology and adds a unique modern twist. Inspired by the fashions of old Valhalla, the dress is perfect for the ethereal shield maiden, made for winged-horse riding and choosing the most heroic on the battlefield. Comprised of a long, flowing, goddess-style green gown the dress itself sparkles and shines as the bride shimmies across the skies. The whole outfit is delightfully hand-embellished with splashes of blood and gore. Custom accessories include spear, shield and sword, as well as the inevitable helmet. Strappy leather sandals complete the outfit, with thongs that wind all the way up the bride’s legs. “Simply sublime!” cry those wounded on the battlefield, as they’re whisked away to the hall of the gods.
Obviously designed for the 15-hour wedding celebration, the Flight of the Valkyries wedding dress inspires everyone around to sing very long songs about very boring things - dramatically. Guests will be motivated to join swords and songs as the glorious bride stirs all to the heights of Wagnerian melodrama. Giants, dwarves, gods and demigods will all be moved to celebrate and special thunder and lightning effects can be provided on request.
Special considerations must be made in planning the celebration for the Flight of the Valkyries bride, as her natural tendencies to blood and gore can be somewhat dangerous to guests and groom alike. Dramatic drumrolls must be kept to a minimum, as well as fights to the death and glorious battles. Nonetheless, special guest bouncers Odin and Woton should be able to keep her in line with a magical ring of fire if she gets too excited.
“Die dritte, so traut, betrog sie mich auch?”
Filed under Let's Get Married!
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Comments
How will you handle garters in that rig up?
Of course you'll need to have an adorable smudge across your nose, from the mire of the battlefield an' that.
Posted by: Problemchildbride | February 16, 2007 11:08 AM
There's always room for garters - ALWAYS. They just go without saying.
There'll be smudges of gore galore. Unfortunately they'll awaken my medieval blood-lust, and I'll need to be tied down and possibly exorcised/exercised...
(sorry mum)
Posted by: Carolyn | February 16, 2007 11:23 AM
Now, what about helmet styles? A nice winged helmet, maybe? Too 2006?
And the seating plan could be tricky; you don't want to be mixing up your Danes and Jutes. And that Beowulf is always such a drama queen if he can't see the top table.
Posted by: Problemchildbride | February 16, 2007 2:45 PM
Well, you see, I think if you pronounce it wing-ED it's ok and has that 2007 flair. I wouldn't really know, though, because I live in Port Moresby which is still stuck in 1983.
But we've decided to go for a cocktail function just because of those dang seating arrangements. There are so many problems with guestlists: I really want Siegfried AND Brunhildr, but I think they're still fighting and it's meant to be ALL ABOUT ME, not some crazy magical ring!
(except for the magical rings on my and Yehia's fingers)
Posted by: Carolyn | February 16, 2007 3:10 PM
You seemed to have made a typo honey, i think you mean "it's meant to be all about US".
Posted by: yehia | February 19, 2007 1:51 PM
Yes darling, of course it's about US, but this is about the dress and you won't be wearing the dress now, will you?
...or will you?
Do I have to make two dresses? Will we be matching? Can I wear pink and you wear blue? That would be so cute! Oooh, two dresses!
Posted by: Carolyn | February 19, 2007 2:05 PM