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Wedding Dress Idea #1013: Unappreciated Fairytale Character
I'm getting married this year, and I'm going to make my dress...
Snow White, Jasmine, Ariel, Cinderella and Belle - step aside! The Unappreciated Fairytale Character Bride has the best of the rest: the appetite of Gretel, the melancholy of the Little Match Girl, the Pea of the Princess, the scissors of Rose Red, the thumb of Thumbelina, the chastity of Maid Marion. Does she have one eye, two eyes or three eyes? Can she spin straw into gold? Who knows - but this mystery Unappreciated Fairytale Character Bride has been ignored for too long, and now she's going to take centre stage!
With all the wit of Scheherazade the Unappreciated Fairytale Character Bride will banish those predictable Disney girls to the pages, and stand in the spotlight. She wears the most shimmeriest gown ever seen, made of moonbeams and sunbeams and starlight (for some reason she's wearing a red hood with it, even though it SO doesn't match). Her slippers are the finest kid leather, handcrafted by crazy little insomniac elves, and although she can't take them off she somehow manages to lose one. What's that in her hand? Why, it's a nutcracker! Her golden?firey?raven?chestnut? tresses hang down her delicate back in a most alluring and uncuttable way. Inevitably becoming confused by her outfit's many fairytale character influences, the Unappreciated Fairytale Character Bride sets off to See The World and Make Her Fortune, instead learning What Fear Is. Or was. Whatex.
Followed constantly by a party of frogs, billygoats, dwarves, dragons, trolls, mice and elves the Unappreciated Fairytale Character Bride wanders around, being chased by wolves and bears and nasty characters. Considering that her story is meant for children, there's a surprising amount of blood, gore, sex and drama in her story. Luckily her very own Prince Charming is there, to marry her no less, and is quite obliging in his willingness to save the day. These two will SO live happily ever after.
The Unappreciated Fairytale Character Bride is quite sure that there's a moral to her story. She's somewhat confused, though, and can't figure out what it is. Maybe she's too busy cleaning, eating, spinning, running, shrieking, sleeping, moaning, pining. Poor little Unappreciated Fairytale Character Bride.
"Into the woods, Without delay, But careful not to lose the way. Into the woods, Who knows what may be lurking on the journey?" - Steven Sondheim
Filed under Let's Get Married!
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Comments
A triumph! I think I might like this one best of all.
The bridesmaids will need to wear wee faux antennae to represent the gentle bugs and fairies that follow Unappreciated Fairytale Character bride everywhere whilst tinkling and chirrupping. A few bluebirds would be perfect too only make sure you get obese ones - they're the cutest.
And don't forget the full orchestra to set the mood and make the walking through the woods being delighted bits more interesting.
And you'll need some sort of magic amulet to protect you from certain peril too.
It'll be costly but it'll be fabulous beyond words. You'll shine, my darling!
Posted by: problemchildbride | May 16, 2007 5:32 AM
PCB I LOVE the idea of the orchestra. And my bridesmaids could flit and float whilst tinkling and chirrupping. How delightful!
Posted by: Carolyn | May 16, 2007 12:54 PM
no fair!! all i asked was to be the most shimmerest person in the kingdom ... and you want that too and rhinestones.
luckily you and i live in different WORLDS so there shall be no clash
... however, this may not be so true when i am closer to melbourne than madang ... in which case you should get first dibs because ... you're worth it (flick of your glossy
golden?firey?raven?chestnut? tresses pleeeeeeeease).
xxxxx
Posted by: kk | May 16, 2007 3:14 PM