Pink Ukulele: Adventures in Deliciousness Archives

Those Girly Things Taste Good!

Continuing in the girly theme wherein I buy wedding magazines, walking through the chemist I come across lip gloss.

I have seen this stuff before and passed it off as boring and stupid and girly. Until I discover coconut lip gloss. Yummo! So I buy it and put it on and it's delicious. I am converted. I am officially turning into a girl. A coconut flavoured girl, no less.

What's the stuff meant to do, anyway? How is it any different to lip balm? I put it on and my lips and shiny, but not much more than with lip balm. What's the go?

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Exciting Acquisitions

This Weekend...

... I won a pair of SP thongs which are now (almost) my most prized possession. They make footprints of the SP logo when I walk in them. I haven't walked in them yet, though, because I don't want goobies blocking up my SP logo.

... I admitted that I have a crush on Justin Timberlake, and a crush on Sharzy. Then I did lots of dancing to them both.

... I realised, through a rant that lovely1 and lovely2 patiently listened to, that when you let someone in and you can only skirt around them that you'll only get hurt. Coz just knowing that they like tofu and not soy milk isn't enough.

... Some Hagen boys got me drunk and laughed at me coz I was talking too much.

... I had a minor freak-out because I have only less than four weeks left in Papua New Guinea.

... I pretended that it didn't hurt when the little piece of self-esteem-worth-ego-happiness-whatever fell onto the floor, and I've been kicking it around ever since. Sometimes I stomp on it, because self-flagellation is almost as good as a hangover. I'm getting over it now.

... A wonderful lady brought me two delicious bunches of sugarfruit all the way from Goroka, which made my day. Thankyou very much, wonderful lady.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Crapola, Exciting Acquisitions, Heeheehee..., So they said...

(8)

Note to Nigel, volume II

How are the mashed potatoes going?

So anyway, you know those things you really like, those purple cucumbers? They're actually called baby eggplants.

That will be all.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Heeheehee...

Port Moresby Conversations

Last night the sky was an angry angry sky. It was so angry that it was throwing water all over Port Moresby, with thunderbolts and lightning (very very frightening me) so big and loud and angry that our whole balcony was shaking. Shaking. I was standing on it, glass of wine in hand, discussing with the sky it's problems. Suffice to say it has many - it's full of holes and such, and soon there won't be anything left of it, what with all this global warming and stuff happening. Poor bugger.

Before all that happened I was in the wine store when a very senior (as in important and powerful, not as in old) staff member of the university came up to me:

"Hello Carolyn, it's lovely to see you."

"Hello."

"I'm looking for a beautiful bottle of red wine to share with people who care to come and visit me in my office."

"Well, you're looking at white wine right now. Red is over there."

"Thankyou my dear. See you soon."

This morning we had to do away with our Haus Meri (cleaning lady) because she was stealing our monies. We didn't "do away with" her in a mafia kind of way, we just told her that her services are no longer needed. Our previous Haus Meri had been offered a better job and abandoned us, but she recommended her sister as a good replacement, who promptly began stealing monies little by little from around the house. She left this morning with quiet resignation. We called her sister to let her know, whose response was:

"Oh yes, she's not as honest as me. I know that. She lives in Gerehu, and she doesn't come to my house."

After this revelation I came to work, and sat down to do some of that said work. A man stood outside my office window, staring at me.

"Can I help you?"

"Yes, I want to speak to that man over there." (pointing through my office to a man on the other side of the hallway)

"Well why don't you go to his office window and talk to him there?"

"No, it's alright, I'll talk to him here."

"I'd rather you didn't, because I'm trying to do my work."

"Oh. I see. We won't be long, I just need to talk to him for a minute."

"I'd really rather you didn't..."

"Oh, ok then. Continue."

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Crapola, EEEEeeekk!!!, Heeheehee..., So they said..., Waiting

(4)

Smith, Weston and Me

Last night I ate the best tofu in Port Moresby. It was crispy on the outside and silky on the inside and covered with oh-so-good saucy goodness.

But that's not what this is all about. Oh no.

At one point we were sitting at our table in the restaurant when the head chef came out to say hello to some friends of his, who were sitting at the table next to us. At first I was impressed by his red chef's hat.

Then I looked down, and was impressed by his ENORMOUS HOLSTER. A real cowboy holster that could shoot-'em-up.

WITH REAL BULLETS.

AND A REAL GUN!!!

I think I know how my sashimi died.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, EEEEeeekk!!!

Spit or Swallow?

One certainly spits in this situation.

Hao had never tried buai before, so we picked some up on Sunday to have a chew. I've chewed it a fair bit but had never taken a photo. I think that you can see why.

Here is the paraphernalia. There are the green buai nuts, which you have to bite open. One here is opened and you can see inside is a nut, about the size of a macadamia nut. It's really really bitter, and makes you salivate a lot - you chew it into paste, and then dip those funny looking green sticks called mustard into the bag of white powder, which is lime, and then add that to the mix and you chew it all up. Continue to dip, and chew. The end result is quite a vivid red goop, which you proceed to spit everywhere at random intervals. It's a mild appetite suppresant, and gives some people hot flushes, head spins, jollies, mouth cancer, whatever. It doesn't do anything to me. Except make my teeth look gross.

Here is Hao biting into the nut. That's as far as he got - he couldn't cope with the nut, let alone the lime and mustard, and spat it out a few seconds later. For the sake of prosperity, and in order to tease him about his girly-girliness, I continued.

This is what it does to your mouth. Note the red stains on my teeth. It takes a lot of brushing to get that out!

And here's some of what I spat out. The longer you chew, the redder it gets. This is all over Port Moresby - on footpaths, roads, walls, trees, gutters, buses, cars, everywhere. Totally yuck.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, EEEEeeekk!!!, Heeheehee...

The things that we love about PNG, and will miss lots and lots. You see, it's a great place and not bad at all, and I quite like it, like nobody's business!

First of all, there is the Deliciousness. One can buy a watermelon, and even say "I carried a watermelon", any day of the week. And a delicious watermelon it will be, especially if one taps it before purchase to make sure that it sounds hollow. The same goes for pineapples, and mangos, and pawpaws, and kaukaus, and bananas, and coffees, and limes, and sugarfruits, and kalamansies, and crayfishies and crabs (although none of these need to be tapped). Many other things, too.

The people are wonderful, especially Non-Stalkers. Even stalkers give one amusement in the moments when one isn't being stalked, and one can tell funny stories about the funny things that they say and do whilst stalking. Because really, they are quite funny. In hindsight.

Papua New Guinean animals are quite special. My particular favourite is the Hornbill, which hops around like a happy hopping hornbill. But there are others, including tree kangaroos and cuscus. There are also many interesting, and sometimes scary, bugs. One must be careful of some animals and bugs as they can bite, but that just brings the element of surprise to the experience.

Place-names are a source of constant amusement, particularly place-names such as "Maprik", "Wapenamanda" and "Wau". They are fun to say and fun to see. Good all-round family entertainment.

Second-hand shopping like no other is to be found in this most excellent county.

Culture, culture, culture. Culture. Culture culture.

The weather. Ah, the weather. In Port Moresby, one doesn't experience anything outside 22-35 degrees, all year round. It's heavenly.

The anecdotes one hears when being introduced to people. For example: "This is X. When he went to a restaurant for the first time in his life, he ate the flower garnish". Or "This is Z. He's adopted, because his father stabbed his mother to death." Or "My name is Y. My husband beats me so I sell peanuts".

Beaches, beaches, beaches. Amusing stories in the newspapers. People. Adventures. Etc.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Super Dooper, WOW

You can ring my bell!

I got my mobile number back (reclaimed it from the phone company, but I don't have my phone, have to use an old and crappy one) AND I got my hussymobile back, so Things are A Bit Better. People can now contact me in case the world blows up and they want to tell me, or in case I have won a million dollars, or in case they want me to play David Bowie covers on my pink ukulele at their birthday party. There are some people who can't call me, though, and they are:

- Evil Ex-Landlord
- Stinky person who stole my phone
- Stupid guy in town at 11:30pm on Friday night who stood in the middle of the road that I was driving on and said, "Ooooh... White Meri... All alone..."

Anyway, we had a party on Saturday night for Christmas. We took the catering Very Seriously, with red & green sushi, vodka watermelon, bacardi jelly shots, slushies and cocktails with copious amounts of food colouring in them. There may have been Shenanigans, and possibly even High Jinks and Tomfoolery. My mouth was red, then green, then red again. I think it went brown in the middle there. Pretty colours. My hands were many colours. The bench was many colours. So was the coffee table.

Preparations involved glitter:

And the hats were well worth all the effort:

There were some really beautiful people there, supermodels I think:

And one that bore a strange resemblance to a reindeer:

The bartenders were of the most talented and refined sort (this was taken before I 'apparently' spilt green food dye all over them):

The next day, the guards put the discarded decorations to good use:

Unfortunately, Kristen's phone was stolen at the party. To the slimy creep who took it: You are a slimy creep. Bring it back, you slimy creep! NOW!!! Or we'll do something really bad to you. So there. You slimy creep!!!

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Super Dooper

Stuff

Well there is some stuff of note that I will now note:

- The rainy season started this week. It poured and poured, and then the sun came out, and then it poured and poured, and then the sun came out, etc. It's most interesting and somewhat humid. Green bits are poking out of the dustbowl that was Port Moresby. Lovely.

- I am going to Cairns tomorrow with the tickets that I won. In Cairns I will play with Yehia and I will eat goodness that I can't get in Port Moresby.

- Tonight Hao is cooking me crayfish. Normally he cooks giant mudcrabs, which he purchases from the market for about 7 kina each (around AU$3.20). But mudcrab season is finishing and crayfish season is starting. And at the stupormarket the crayfishies are 25 kina per kilo (about AU$11.50) so we're going to eat some of them, coz we're working today and won't be able to get to the market on time. At the market they're about 7 kina each now. Mmmm, goodness. Suffice to say that that's not one of the things I'll be going off to eat in Cairns. Photos pending.

- I was a little bit sick this week. Not dramatically, just a bit too tired and bleh. But I'm better now. In time to go to Cairns.

- We are still working through the 2 litres of mango pulp.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Super Dooper, WOW

This is why we come to Port Moresby

"It's a sin to live in this city during mango season and not eat them until you're sick." - Kym

Taking this to heart, I bought 30+ mangoes at the market on Saturday.

How could I not??? The really ripe ones were 20 toea each (about AU 9 cents each) and the less ripe ones were 50 toea each (about AU 22 cents each). And the smell, people, the smell! I did also buy three giant cucumbers and a big bunch of lemongrass. Do you see any lemongrass?

On Sunday, I realised that I didn't quite know what to do with them all. I pulverised half of them in my little mini food processesor, and ended up with 2 litres of delicious golden mango pulp. Plus a few litres on me, and all over the kitchen. Thank goodness for haus meris.

But I'm out of vodka and I have two litres of delicious golden mango pulp. What to do? What's the point of 2 litres of delicious golden mango pulp when there's no vodka? Sure I can mix it with icecream, but it would be so much better with icecream and vodka.

So Kristen ate/drank/consumed a bit of it when she got home. I physically couldn't have any more after chopping up and sampling so many bits of mango, and being covered from head to toe with mangoey goodness. I was truly delicious. Not that I would know, because that would be wrong. And far too difficult.

2 litres of delicious golden mango pulp minus a few spoonfulls = ...still lots of delicious golden mango pulp.

And then we made mango chicken.

Still no difference.

And then we made yummy drinks with it.

Tiny dent achieved.

Anyone for delicious golden mango pulp? I still have 15 mangoes left!!!

Mmmmm, mango....

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Super Dooper

What I was doing

Well I did lots of training during the last two weeks. Now I'm back. Notable incidents from the past two weeks include (in no particular order):

- Eating lots and lots of kaukau and cooking bananas.
- Seeing how many times I can say "breast" on national radio.
- Sending 5000 male + 3000 female condoms up the Kokoda trail.
- Saying yalla byebyez to lovely Hagen and Alotau mobs.
- Having a guy called Blacky in my training.
- Dealing with inner PC dilemmas whenever I call out, "Hey, Blacky!"
- An earthquake in PNG that I didn't even feel!
- Others felt it! In POM! Unfair!!!
- Kristen coming back with presents.
- Explaining to wifebeaters that women have human rights too.
- Telling brick wall (aka wifebeaters) to STOP BLOODY BEATING!!!
- Convincing wifebeaters not to beat their wives when pregnant.
- SH.
- Fun and Games.
- Etc.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Heeheehee..., Super Dooper

Note to Nigel

When making mashed potatoes, make sure that you drain the water off. That will be all.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Heeheehee...

Forgot This Too

Ok I forgot to mention this too.

I'm halfway through PNG today.

Well, kind of. Not literally, in a way. But really, I am. Halfway as in halfway through my 12-month assignment. As in 6 months today. Halfway. Through. My. Stay. In. PNG.

EEEEEEEEEEeeeeEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!

So many more things to do! So many more animals to poke! So many more people to play with! So many more crazy things to eat! So many more things to be scared of! So many more t-shirts to see!

Did I mention eek?

EeeeeeEEEEEeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Crapola, EEEEeeekk!!!, Exciting Acquisitions, Heeheehee..., Miscellany, So they said..., Super Dooper, T-Shirt Of The Day, WOW, Waiting

Your Neon Lights will Shine

There is a coconutty smell coming in my office window. It smells delicious and summery, and gives the deception that outside my window is something delicious and summery and coconutty. But there are no coconuts, not even a lovely bunch of them. There are only those crazy trees with the crazy roots that grow in a crazy way all over the crazy place. And a young man singing "Crazy for You". True! If only he'd sing Xanadu.

Just because I'm at work, does it mean I have to work?

In other news, I'm moving house at the end of this week. Goodbye to my own bathroom, frangipannis, mango trees, gardenias, Armenian neighbour and dust. Hello giant balcony, POOL, bougainvillea, POOL, gas stove, POOL and POOL.

Why is the best pub in Papua New Guinea at 17-mile? That means it's 17 miles from town. Where I live. And where I'm about to live. 17 miles from the best pub. Not Fair.

And why do I never win at Risk? Is it because I'm too chicken? Or because I develop vendettas and then embark on suicide missions in order to annihilate my nemeses? Or is it because I always demand to be red? But isn't red supposed to go faster?

I feel that tofu is my friend. I believe that it isn't wrong to eat one's friend, when one's friend is delicious and soft and juicy and flavoursome, as my friend tofu is. And tofu doesn't squeal when I stick a knife in it, and I don't have to stick it in the freezer to make it sleep but then one of its legs escapes before it falls asleep so it scratches at the freezer door leaving little footprints in the iceblocks. Tofu makes me happy - just like chocolate soy milk, caramello koalas, doritos which I had on Friday for the first time since we got to PNG because a shipment just came in to the stupormarket, and vodka.

Mmm... tofu + coconut (the real stuff including but not just the smell) = delicious.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Miscellany

Wonderwoman

Papua New Guinean coffee is delicious. When you make it in a plunger, it gets a little film of oil on top of the crema. I pretend that this means it is the freshest coffee on the planet. Maybe even in the universe.

It isn't made very well in cafes and restaurants and hotels here. But it still does the job when debating WHO sang 'Boom Boom Shake Shake the Room' (Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince), WHAT is the Run DMC song that I forgot the name of but it's obviously better than the others (It's like that... and that's the way it is), and WHO sang that song that goes, 'I don't want a place to stay, get your booty on the floor tonight, make my day' (Nobody knows, we have all forgotten). And it is certainly made well in my house.

Well the point of all of this is that despite the coffee here being delicious, I have decided that I'm not going to drink it every morning. I haven't given it up, because it really does facilitate those discussions regarding the nineties songs that we all love. But I have decided that the extra fifteen minutes I am able to sleep in instead of boiling water... making coffee... pouring coffee... waiting for it to cool down so I can drink it coz I can't stand hot drinks that are too hot... is worth it. Fifteen minutes is significant for somebody who really likes to sleep, which is me.

I had a teeny-tiny-ant-sized headache on Wednesday (first day of no coffee). Yesterday I was dopey (but that could be normal, and coffee had blinded me to this fact. Do I really want to know that I'm dopey? I'm still considering taking up coffee again in order to prevent said knowledge). Today I'm feeling ok so far.

Was my addiction really that small? Or is this a show of the amazing power of one volunteer's mind? Let's pretend it's the latter, just like we pretend that the oil means the coffee is fresh-orama and not suspiciously involved in the latest oil spill in the Gulf province.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness

Anchovies and Chocolate

Some lovely visitors from Australia last night brought us anchovies, dark chocolate and olive oil. Mmmm.... Such goodness...

Thanks guys!

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness

mumu madness

Training went very well last week, as did eating. The ladies at the YWCA, where I was conducting the training, found out that I like eating.

So, every day there was a new variation on a mumu. A mumu is basically a big conglomerate of various greens (vegies often called aibika, somewhat like spinach), other vegies including cooking bananas and kaukau, and some kind of meat. All cooked in delicious coconut.

Sometimes it was chicken, sometimes it was fish, all the time it was yummy.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness

Sago

I just don't know what to do about sago.

Today I was invited to the graduation ceremony for a short course in Advanced Business English (why, I do not know). After the ceremony lunch was served, which was fantastic. A big mumu with heaps of yummy vegies and bits of chicken. I love all of the vegies here, they are always wonderfully fresh and fantastic. But there was also sago.

I just don't know what to do about sago. It is simply one of the strangest things ever eaten by anyone. Today's sago was mixed with cooking banana and cooked in coconut milk, so it was a little sweet. It was served as a savory thing with the chicken and vegies and stuff. I was given a huge lump of it.

It's not just that the taste is strange, but it's the texture. I think this is one of those things that Yehia would describe as 'snot'. I have to say, it's quite snotty. I managed to eat my lump.

It's very strange. Not bad strange, I think, but I'm not sure if it's good strange. I just don't know what to do about sago.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness

Mmmmmm......

At what point does one's love of chocolate soy milk become an obsession? I realised yesterday that I had one litre in the fridge, and four litres in the pantry. Is that too much?

But it's so delicious!!!!

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness

(4)

Monopoly

I think that Papua New Guinea is the only country in the world that has only one brewery. South Pacific Brewery has the monopoly over beer consumption. Lucky they make good beer!

SP%20Beer.JPG

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness

Zucchini-orama

Although it was simply beautiful and obviously full of deliciousness, Kristen (right) and I decided not to buy the zucchini (left).

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness

Disappointment

I am quite disappointed to say that I have not yet encountered, been bitten by, or eaten any crazy animals.

Apparently they are all hiding in the jungle, away from the cooking pot. Why do they do this? So I can't eat them. It's a bit of a dilemma, though, because I don't want to eat anything that's endangered, and I think that most of them are endangered. So I wouldn't necessarily eat them, I'd just take a look at them and maybe poke them. There are just so many crazy animals here that I could see, and possibly poke if they will let me. They should know that I won't eat them if they're endangered, and I will ask permission before I poke them, but they still hide from me.

So I will leave them alone. Maybe that's for the best, because seeing them would probably require me to put on my Sporty Spice shoes, and then trek into the jungle, and get malaria, and die.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness

Explanation?

Perhaps I should explain the custard apple comment?

Ya has a category of fruit and vegetables that he terms as 'snot'. These are all things that he finds both disgusting in texture and taste. On the list of 'snotties' are okra, persimmon, custard apple, guava, quince, and many other things that I find to be delicious.

Whilst it would be lovely to have him here, at least I can eat the above delights in peace.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness

Banana Goodness!

This is an official notice stating that the bananas in PNG are the best bananas in the world. All i eat is bananas. Bananas, bananas, bananas. MMMmmmm...... So sweet and tasty.

Also receiving honourable mentions are the limes, the papayas, the spinach, and the fishies.

Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness