Born Free
5:29 PM, Thursday, 28 June, 2007
My sister is setting her puppies free to roam at our wedding.
I, though less well-endowed, am choosing not to do this.
I'm currently in the process of buying something to wear under The Outfit, which is proving a mite difficult. There seems to be a dearth of delicious lingerie that is of the right cut in Melbourne at the moment. I refuse to wear those awful stick-on things - All I need is something strapless with a slightly lower back! Anyone got any ideas of where I can go QUICKLY, considering that this time next month I'LL BE DRESSED IN IT AND ABOUT TO GET MARRIED????
Filed under EEEEeeekk!!!, Heeheehee..., So they said...
Friday Procrastination
11:58 AM, Friday, 22 June, 2007
Last night us classy art savants went to a gallery opening. The Angry Teenagers have been painting and they're very proud and excited and so am I - one of them turned up whilst an Important Person was speeching yesterday and shreeked "Hippy Lady!" when she saw me. Anyway, anyone in Melbourne needs to go and have a look at the stuff that the Angry Teenagers have painted, and buy some of it too because although they're angry they're really lovely kids. More information here, it's open until 8 July.
This morning, after the excitement and culture of last night, the tram was horrific. Squished like little squished fishies we were, staring googlie-eyed out the fogged up windows. Screeeech went the brakes, and we were so jam-packed that nobody was able to fall over. Because we were all supporting each other in our verticality. How very community of us. Pity about the morning breaths.
In other news, this evening we have an exciting visitor coming from far away lands: Yehia's mother is coming from Saudi Arabia. We look forward to frenzied cleaning of the house before we pick her up, then her frenzied cleaning of our cleanliness when she arrives. This woman puts clean freaks to shame. Unless, that is, her phobia of cats continues and she spends the days standing on the coffee table while The Cat runs laps around it, howling. It will be an amusing weekend, either way.
Filed under Stuff
Cold
9:35 AM, Wednesday, 20 June, 2007
Melbourne is so cold right now that:
My coconut oil has permanently solidified, and I have to run it under hot water for five minutes to be able to get any out;
My toes are constantly iciclified and threaten to snap, no matter how many pairs of socks I'm wearing;
I keep on cooking warm wintery things, especially those that require use of the oven, but they're just not warming me up;
My nose is dripping and my eyes are watery and my ears I can't feel them;
Any time I pass any kind of heater I attach myself to it like a needy barnacle;
All exposed pieces of flesh immediately start paining me the second I walk outdoors;
I think I saw some penguins migrating past the bathroom window this morning - they waved and laughed at me as I stood there shivering.
I hate the cold. I need it to go away so that I can be happy and warm and comfortable. Bleh.
Filed under Crapola
Lockdown
11:47 AM, Monday, 18 June, 2007
There's a gunman running around Melbourne at the moment.
The building that I work in (a women's resource centre) has gone into lockdown.
I started telling stories about running onto the balcony to see where the shots were coming from in Port Moresby, and watching the Benny Hill style chases around the university campus, and people didn't find it amusing.
Filed under EEEEeeekk!!!
The Most Beautiful Shoes In The World
10:23 PM, Monday, 11 June, 2007
Filed under Exciting Acquisitions, Super Dooper, WOW
Wedding Dress Idea #7776: Warrior Princess
9:20 PM, Thursday, 7 June, 2007
I'm getting married this year, and I'm going to make my dress...
Leaping off her winged steed, the Warrior Princess Bride flicks her hair scornfully in the direction of all those people who say "You're doing it all your way", and marches boldly to her groom's side.
As she takes her roast turkey leg from the minions and begins to chomp, the full glory of the Warrior Princess Bride's outfit can be seen. Her lovely bosom is encased in the finest leather corset, accentuated by a filigree brass breastplate. Her pert buttocks are barely covered by her wee little skirt, complete with brass studs, pins and doodads. Long brown lace-up boots have the requisite bridal stiletto (you just can't find bridal shoes without a stiletto heel these days, you know!). Her arms and hands are protected by matching brass filigree gauntlets, designed to both protect and accentuate her perfect manicure. A sword and dagger on her belt and a crossbow across her back complete this Warrior Princess Bride's outfit.
She's angry, bloodthirsty and merciless. Come too close and you'll hear her low, rumbling growl. The Warrior Princess Bride will tolerate no dissent in her legions, and will quash rebellion with one steely look. Likewise, champagne will suffer the terrifying scrutiny of her almighty palate. Gods will be vanquished, villages burned and hair flicked. She arm-wrestles monsters, punches through solid rock, kicks down doors and knocks out opponents with a single flick of her hair - all accompanied by witty and cutting quips. Beware those who spurn her selection of canapes.
"You know her? Of course, you know her. You're a "Who's Who" of Warriors." - Gabrielle
Filed under Let's Get Married!