Whoopsies
12:02 PM, Thursday, 30 November, 2006
Some people just shouldn't be allowed near the computer.
First I send an email to Ralph, which manages to embarrass him, Yehia and I. Well, I wasn't really embarrassed coz I'm used to saying the kind of things that I said - I just forget that the whole world isn't used to Carolynisms. Anyway, it's not unusual that I do embarrass myself, and it is quite usual for me to Embarrass Yehia. But I don't even know Ralph. Never met him. Poor guy. It was just meant to be birthday wishes, and turned into a world of pain. Sorry Ralph. Really. Truly. I Am Very Very Sorry.
Then, in an attempt to send an Abusive email to my sister (As we all have to do sometimes. Let me know if you want her email address, I'll be happy to oblige, she doesn't mind the odd abusive/hate email. Good for her. Toughens her up.) I somehow manage, unbeknownst to me, to send it to me. I then sent it to her, and if you're reading this Katia, PAY ATTENTION!!!
And then the emails to Mo. At least 7 attempts at attaching attachments. I still don't know what went wrong there.
Come away from the computer, Carolyn. There's a good girl. That's right. No, don't touch the keyboard any more. Good girl. Gently now. Let go of the mouse, Carolyn. No, I said let go. Carolyn, let go of the mouse. Please do not hit Save. Carolyn, I ASKED you NOT to hit Save. NO, Carolyn. That's it, no more vodka for you! GIVE ME the mouse! NNOOOooooo.....
Filed under Heeheehee...
Weird dreams that I have had lately...
1:38 PM, Tuesday, 28 November, 2006
I have been having some very strange dreams lately. All very vivid and very real. I don't want to know what they mean, or what they say about me and/or others, unless it's a very funny explanation that won't make me paranoid.
1. Kristen stoled all of the diamonds out of my engagement ring and said, "I'll give them back!"
2. I broke my left wrist very badly. And it took ages to get to the doctor, because of all of the rigmarole regarding international insurance.
3. Mangoes. Everywhere. Just going through a regular day, but mangoes being everywhere. More so than usual. Like, everywhere, like dangling in people's hair.
4. Baking lots of goodness and then going and having a wonderful picnic. A themed picnic... can't remember what theme. Lots of colour involved, though. There were Hornbills. They may have also partaken in the picnic. I like hornbills. And I think the picnic was floating. There were also couches.
5. There was a giant, and I mean GIANT, jellyfish floating/swimming/blobbing around the bay, and I was watching it from our balcony. Giant, like an elephant or whale. But not an elephant or whale, because it was a jellyfish - I could even see its giant tentacle-thingies.
6. David Bowie. I think he came to our wedding. Woohoo!
7. I ate and ate and ate and ate, and enjoyed it. And there were no moany/painy/bloaty repurcussions.
8. Dancing. Many styles of.
9. Jeans.
10. Lots of pretty butterflies. All shapes and sizes and colours. Lovely.
Go on then, try to analyse that bunch! And they say us volunteers don't need psych assessments...
Filed under EEEEeeekk!!!, Heeheehee..., Super Dooper
Monster II: Hero's Revenge
8:28 AM, Friday, 24 November, 2006
The scourge of Port Moresby is no more.
Last night The Hero (aka Nigel) was sleeping quietly, dreaming of mashed potato and planes. Little did The Hero know that there was a vicious monster with an eye for revenge, making its way across his bedroom ceiling...
The Hero was sleeping on his side. We know this because at 1am the monster made its move. Launching itself from the ceiling on a trajectory carefully calculated to both miss the fan and use its wind power at the same time, the monster flew through the air, landing on The Hero's ear with pinpoint accuracy.
The Hero was overcome! Alas! Slowly the monster started burrowing into his ear, intent on sucking out his brain so that he could never mash potatoes, let alone fly, again. The Hero, gasping, woke up only to realise at that moment how close he was to his doom.
Then, in a show of extraordinary strength of both mind and body, The Hero shook his head and the monster fell onto the pillow. Barely alive from the attack and mortally wounded The Hero used his last ounce of strength to lift the pillow, with the monster on it, and smash it pillow and all... against the wall.
Damsel In Distress #2 (aka Kristen), while being impressed that the monster was slain and The Hero had truly earned her heart, was not happy that The Hero's pillow was now covered in monster guts and that they would have to share hers. Nonetheless, The Hero is applauded by all of Port Moresby and we all live happily ever after.
Filed under Super Dooper
Monster
8:33 AM, Thursday, 23 November, 2006
It was going to eat me.
Going for the jugular first, like a tiger (picture hands doing claw-like gestures)...
At the very least it was going to nibble off my pinkie toe in my sleep.
It was in my bedroom, you see, above the window. I had to wake up Nigel and Kristen to come and help me fend off the dastardly beast. It was after my virtue, I tells ya. Also my deliciousness (although I wasn't covered in mango). Nigel acted The Hero, minus shining armour. The monster ran away somewhere - The Hero wasn't fast enough. Obviously needed a steed. We must give credit to Nigel, though, because he was Very Brave, and us Damsels In Distress felt most protected.
"EeeeeeeEEEeeeeeeEEEEEeeekkkkkkKKkkkkk!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I slept with the broom very close by, just in case...
Filed under EEEEeeekk!!!
Just look at it!
8:48 AM, Tuesday, 21 November, 2006
I'm not being preachy so I won't say anything other than thanks to the lady who sent me this and thought to actually copy and paste the whole article into the email coz I can't open websites at the university. To everyone else, read it and think. (In a non-preachy way)
More amusing(?) news from PNG, from today's edition of The National:
Angry MP causes damage at airport - By CLIFFORD FAIPARIK. A MEMBER of Parliament caused a drama at the domestic terminal of the Jackson Airport in Port Moresby yesterday, when he smashed the conveyor belt of the baggage carousel. The MP was apparently angry that his cargo, a bag of crabs, had not been delivered to him fast enough. Civil Aviation security officers said after waiting impatiently, the MP slammed the controlling unit of the electronically controlled conveyor belt, causing it to malfunction. Officials say this damage would cost them thousands of kina to fix. The MP could also run foul of Civil Aviation laws because he walked out of the terminal and back onto the tarmac to search for his plastic bag of crabs. Eyewitnesses said he then swore at the baggage handlers for causing him delay and inconvenience. These incidents happened in full view of his fellow passengers and airport staff. The conveyor controlling unit is now damaged and baggage handlers will manually retrieve cargoes to hand over to the travelling public as of today. This manual operation will caused havoc for the baggage handlers and the passengers, and Civil Aviation Authority and airline officials were not at all impressed. It would also take some months before spare parts could be flown in from overseas to repair the controlling unit, an official said. CAA security officers told The National that the MP had arrived on an Airlines PNG flight from his province at 1.30pm. But because his bag of crabs had no cargo tag, baggage handlers did not allowed it to be put on the conveyor belt with the rest of the other passengers’ baggages for security reasons, they said.
Filed under EEEEeeekk!!!, So they said...
Thanks, kid.
11:24 AM, Monday, 20 November, 2006
Driving home Friday afternoon, singing along to the radio with the windows down for that extra-special 'wind-blown' look...
There was a car beside me, as there often is on a three-lane road. The back window slowly wound down and I did a minor double-take as a toy gun was pointed in my direction. And fired (yes, I was right, it was a toy...).
A kid, about 10 years old, stuck his head out the window and shouted, "I'm gonna kill you, white meri!"
I drove away.
Filed under Crapola
Where I live now
8:50 AM, Thursday, 16 November, 2006
Ok so I moved houses several weeks ago and now I've finally bothered to take some photos of bits to put here. Actually, the photos aren't the bits of my new house, they're the view from the balcony of my new house. Which is big, with a hammock in which one drinks gin and tonic (for malaria, of course!).
So here is one bit of our view:
And here is another bit of our view:
And here is the first bit of our view at night when all the pretty lights are sparkling. Sorry about the not-so-good photo, but my camera is smarter than me and I'm still figuring out all the buttons 'n stuff.
So who's jealous? Port Moresby isn't such a bad place after all, is it?
I'm living with Nigel and Kristen. Nigel is a pilot who forgets to drain the water from the potatoes before he mashes them. Kristen is a 'communications professional' (don't ask me what that is!) who quite likes to eat pickles. They are getting married in March. As soon as I get them both drunk enough to wear hot pants, feather boas and leather bras I will put the photos up here.
By the way, Cairns was good.
Filed under Super Dooper
T-Shirt Of The Day
10:25 AM, Wednesday, 15 November, 2006
If only I had this t-shirt... Spotted last week...
ONJ - Xanadu
There was even glitter on it! Oh if only. Today's T-Shirt Of The Day scores a mighty 10/10 in the category 'exciting memorabilia from rollerskating disco musicals'.
Filed under T-Shirt Of The Day
Stuff
10:33 AM, Thursday, 9 November, 2006
Well there is some stuff of note that I will now note:
- The rainy season started this week. It poured and poured, and then the sun came out, and then it poured and poured, and then the sun came out, etc. It's most interesting and somewhat humid. Green bits are poking out of the dustbowl that was Port Moresby. Lovely.
- I am going to Cairns tomorrow with the tickets that I won. In Cairns I will play with Yehia and I will eat goodness that I can't get in Port Moresby.
- Tonight Hao is cooking me crayfish. Normally he cooks giant mudcrabs, which he purchases from the market for about 7 kina each (around AU$3.20). But mudcrab season is finishing and crayfish season is starting. And at the stupormarket the crayfishies are 25 kina per kilo (about AU$11.50) so we're going to eat some of them, coz we're working today and won't be able to get to the market on time. At the market they're about 7 kina each now. Mmmm, goodness. Suffice to say that that's not one of the things I'll be going off to eat in Cairns. Photos pending.
- I was a little bit sick this week. Not dramatically, just a bit too tired and bleh. But I'm better now. In time to go to Cairns.
- We are still working through the 2 litres of mango pulp.
Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Super Dooper, WOW
This is why we come to Port Moresby
9:02 AM, Monday, 6 November, 2006
"It's a sin to live in this city during mango season and not eat them until you're sick." - Kym
Taking this to heart, I bought 30+ mangoes at the market on Saturday.
How could I not??? The really ripe ones were 20 toea each (about AU 9 cents each) and the less ripe ones were 50 toea each (about AU 22 cents each). And the smell, people, the smell! I did also buy three giant cucumbers and a big bunch of lemongrass. Do you see any lemongrass?
On Sunday, I realised that I didn't quite know what to do with them all. I pulverised half of them in my little mini food processesor, and ended up with 2 litres of delicious golden mango pulp. Plus a few litres on me, and all over the kitchen. Thank goodness for haus meris.
But I'm out of vodka and I have two litres of delicious golden mango pulp. What to do? What's the point of 2 litres of delicious golden mango pulp when there's no vodka? Sure I can mix it with icecream, but it would be so much better with icecream and vodka.
So Kristen ate/drank/consumed a bit of it when she got home. I physically couldn't have any more after chopping up and sampling so many bits of mango, and being covered from head to toe with mangoey goodness. I was truly delicious. Not that I would know, because that would be wrong. And far too difficult.
2 litres of delicious golden mango pulp minus a few spoonfulls = ...still lots of delicious golden mango pulp.
And then we made mango chicken.
Still no difference.
And then we made yummy drinks with it.
Tiny dent achieved.
Anyone for delicious golden mango pulp? I still have 15 mangoes left!!!
Mmmmm, mango....
Filed under Adventures in Deliciousness, Super Dooper
How (not) to pick up in Port Moresby
10:44 AM, Wednesday, 1 November, 2006
One is subject to many interesting pick-up lines as a pink ukulele playing volunteer in Port Moresby. Here are some of the gems:
"I'm 23. You're 24. Will you be my friend... my special friend?"
"I'm very interested in using condoms. With you."
"I will take you to Chimbu."
"Wanna see my village?"
"Hey baby, nice specs! How do you feel about a bit of black dick inside you?"
"Oooh yeah!"
"May I bring you a bilum?"
"Don't you want to go out on a boat today?"
"Ooh you're so pretty... Pretty in that meri blouse... Oooh..."
"You talk about sex, right? So... you know how to do it?"
Suffice to say that none of the gentlemen(?) using the above lines have got lucky wtih me. Surprised?
Filed under EEEEeeekk!!!, Heeheehee..., So they said...